


do you see what i see?

by amyelouise



Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:48:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6076497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyelouise/pseuds/amyelouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gillian tries to cope with the Daily Mail's article about her beauty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	do you see what i see?

**Author's Note:**

> Although they're real people this is purely fiction.
> 
> Enjoy!

She'd scoffed a little when she'd seen the article at first. A colleague had bought the newspaper and pushed it towards her on the table, muttering something about how ridiculous it was, how she should just forget about it. She thought she'd be able to, and after tweeting she thought, yes, I can move past this. I'm better than that article painted me to be. 

It was all going well until she lay down in her bed. It was a hotel bed, she hadn't bothered renting a place in Belfast, knowing she'd be flying back to London every few days to see her kids. It was temporary, like her youth, she thought with a sigh. She was staring up at the ceiling when she felt her hand unconsciously move to her face. Her fingers traced the lines around her mouth, around her eyes, and she was sure she could feel a single tear fall down her cheek. She pursed her lips and could swear they used to be fuller when she was younger. Turning on her side she saw her reflection in part of the mirror standing opposite her bed and her hand drifted down her body, surveying her curves. She knew she was lucky, she had a body to be proud of at any age, although she noted with some dismay that her thighs were too flabby for her liking and her boobs no longer defied gravity. She grabbed them, and pushed them up higher towards the straight of her collarbone, wishing they were as perky as they used to be. 

If she had to be honest with herself, she thought she looked terrible. Her hair was going in every direction, and her face was void of Stella Gibson's flawless makeup. The dark shadows under her eyes made her expression look gaunt, and it probably didn't help that her vision was blurred from her lack of contact lenses and the tears that were threatening to spill over onto her cheeks.

"I'm so old." She said to no one in particular, so was quite shocked when she received a deep reply.

"If you're old then that must make me ancient."

Her head spun towards the source of that familiar voice with a look of utter disbelief. He wasn't supposed to be in Belfast. He was supposed to be in LA filming Aquarius. He was standing in the doorway of her hotel room with a goofy smile on his face, a small carry on bag in one hand, hanging slightly behind him. Gillian immediately sprung off the bed and bounded towards him.

"Oh you, you had to come and surprise me today. Didn't you?" Her words were quiet, she didn't want him to know she had been in the verge of tears, but she was sure he'd probably already guessed. He dropped his bag on the floor with a heavy thud and his arms stretched out towards her, wrapping around her back when she finally reached his embrace. Her grip on him was tight, and she kept her face pressed into his chest to hide her soft sobs, as David bent his head down and gave her reassuring kisses on the top of her hair. "How did you even get in here?"

"Your assistant gave me her spare key." They stood for a few more moments in silence, slightly rocking each other in their embrace. "I wanted to see you. I couldn't wait a few more weeks." She pulled back slightly, looking into his eyes, and then down to his lips. He reached down and pressed his lips against hers. Their tongues gently moved against each other, taking back what was theirs. They'd spoken every day on the phone, or through text, but it had been a month since they'd been able to revel in the feel of each other's touches. It wasn't a rushed kiss, it was just making up for lost time.

She moved away first, gazing into his eyes still with a small smile playing on her lips. "I love you." Her hands came up to caress his face, the backs of her fingers lightly brushing against his cheeks.

"I love you too. Gillian..." He paused slightly, his hands resting on her waist, his eyes still captured by hers. "I saw that article about you..." Immediately he saw the change in her. Her eyes became more clouded, and the smile disappeared from her face. She moved out of his embrace, and turned towards her bed, her hand moving a strand of her blonde hair behind an ear.

"It was such bullshit. Don't worry about me. Honestly, I'm over it." She tried to laugh but it came out full of mirth and did nothing to distract him from her obviously distraught mindset. He came up behind her, snaking his hands around her waist and pulling her slightly back into him. Her eyes were fixed ahead of her on the soft carpet, her hands still nervously messing with her hair, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. 

"You don't seem very over it." His voice was soft and unthreatening, and she had to strain just to hear him. She didn't know what to say to him, she didn't want anybody to know this was affecting her as much as it was. After a short while with no response from her, David changed tactics. He pushed her forward slightly so she walked a little to her left. She saw what he was doing too late, as she became face to face with the reflection that she had recently grown to hate. She tried to pull away, to seek solace in her warm bed covers, but his grip around her tightened and she sighed, defeated. 

"You've always had the most beautiful collarbones, you know that right?" She chuckled a little as his hand dragged its way up her front to trace lightly along the straight of her right clavicle. 

"Good collarbones? Is that the best you can do Duchovny?" He hummed a little as his finger reached out to lift the spaghetti strap of her nightdress off her right shoulder, leaving her entire collarbone exposed to the ministrations of his lips, as they kissed and nipped the soft skin there. She moaned a little and tilted her head back into his chest, her eyes slipping shut.

"No, keep your eyes open. Watch me." They fluttered open slightly and she gasped at the intensity of his gaze on her. Although it was passed through a mirror, not one ounce of its passion was lost in the process. She expected his mouth to move up the column of her neck, but instead he withdrew, his fingers lightly dancing there instead. "And this neck of yours... normally you wouldn't think of someone's neck as beautiful, but yours is so sexy." His fingers pulled her hair behind her ear as his head bent towards her again, she could feel his breath against her ear. "All I think about when I see it is how much I'd like to kiss it, how much I'd like to take some of that soft skin in between my lips and mark you as mine. And I love this little bit of skin here." His lips touched the spot just behind her ear and it made her shiver. "And I love how it makes you shiver just like that when I kiss it." 

He broke out into a smile, and she couldn't resist returning it, his eyes still holding hers in the mirror. Without looking away, his hands caressed the tops of her shoulders, sliding down the length of her arms down to grasp her hands, his rough digits beginning to massage her own. "I hope you know how amazing your hands are too." She laughed a little and broke his trance, but her eyes soon drifted back to his, his expression serious in their reflection. "They're beautiful. They're slender and soft and perfectly manicured. Yes, I do notice these things." He added without skipping a beat. "But have you thought about what they can do? That's what really amazes me. They can write books, they can paint. They can love... and lust." He gave her hands a tight squeeze and he thought he heard her whimper. "They've raised children... Isn't that amazing? That these beautiful hands have done so many beautiful things." A tear fell from her eye and he quickly, yet smoothly, moved his hand to wipe it away, before settling it on her shoulder.

"And they're connected to these really beautiful arms, that I dream about having around me every night. Arms that hold me whilst I sleep." His hand drifted up to her forearm, stroking slightly as he planned his next move. The hand on her left shoulder moved a little, and his finger slipped under her remaining spaghetti strap, ready to pull it down her arm. She protested slightly, a low grunt escaping her parted lips, and she turned her head to the side to escape his steely gaze. His head grasped her chin lightly and brought her face back in line with the mirror. "It's only me. You're so beautiful to me. Ssh, it's only me." His finger glided up and down her left arm for a while until he tried once again, pulling her spaghetti strap down her arm on a downward stroke of his fingertip. The light fabric fell slightly, and with a nudge from his hand, it dropped completely, leaving her bare to him except for her lace panties, the garment puddled around her feet on the plush floor. She screwed up her eyes, but kept facing forward. 

David's hands moved down to her hips and gently rested themselves there, massaging lightly until he saw her eyelids open again. He pressed a soft kiss against her jaw and continued his hands paths over her stomach. "I love your waist. You have such a beautiful tiny waist. I love putting my hands around it because sometimes they span the entirety of your body. I love that. I love how good my hands feel around there. I want to hold you like that everywhere, so everyone knows you're mine." His fingers tickled up the flat of her stomach, and Gillian let out a sigh at the sensation. She would have let herself float away to the feel of his hands on her if his eyes weren't holding her down to reality with such ferocity it threatened to take her breath away. 

"And these," he paused, "don't get me started on how wonderful these are." His digits traced around her darkened areola, up towards her collarbone and then down again to the soft underside of her breasts. "I love your boobs." He said it with such sincerity and with the powerful expression in his eyes, it made her burst out laughing, and he joined her, delighting in how he could elicit such beautiful sounds out of her, even when her mind was still so troubled. He cupped her breasts and squeezed slightly. She moaned, reminding him of the other sounds he could coax out of her beautiful mouth. He kissed her jaw again, a little harder than before, as his fingers came up to pinch her hardening nipples. "I don't think I've ever not loved these. I used to stare at them a lot, and I know you thought I was a chauvinistic pig for doing so, but I just couldn't help myself. They're just so good." He squeezed them a little harder, noticing how she was lightly arching her back, pushing them into his hands. He smiled at her in the reflection. "And they fit so perfectly in my hands. It's like my hands were born to hold your boobs." She chuckled slightly and he gave her another hard kiss, this time back at that spot behind her ear, and her brain went a little fuzzy thinking about what those lips could do if they were wrapped around one of her nipples instead.

"I almost love your ass as much as I love your boobs." His hands moved southward and cupped her cheeks, giving them a playful squeeze. 

"You were always a boob man rather than an ass man." She chuckled lightly, and her hands went round to place themselves on top of his, encouraging them to squeeze again. He obliged, planting another kiss on her neck, his tongue darting out to taste some of her skin. He hummed his agreement.

"That's true but you have such a cute butt. It's all, soft and round but firm." He gave a third squeeze to accentuate his point. "And not at all flabby." She chuckled again and he moved his head closer to her face to whisper in her ear. "You've been lying to me this whole time haven't you Miss Anderson? You do workout! You do squats!" She felt him smile against her earlobe and watched him take it in between his lips and bite down whilst simultaneously pushing his hands underneath her panties and giving her ass another hard squeeze. Her laughs were interrupted by her gasp of surprise and moan, and she melted into his arms, the feel of him suckling on her earlobe, and his hands massaging her cheeks sending shocks straight to the juncture at her thighs. His expression went deadly serious again, as he removed his hands from her ass, tracing the edge of her lace panties all the way to the front of her. Gillian breathed in quickly, expecting his fingers to slide underneath the material into her soft curls, but instead they did the opposite, moving up her body and back to her hands, grabbing them. 

"Do you see what I see?" His hands moved hers to pass over her stomach and up and over her breasts. His expression had turned sober, and she was sure she could feel his erection lightly pressing against the small of her back, although he was obviously trying to create some distance between the two. She pushed her ass back into his groin and heard his low groan. "Do you see what makes me feel that way?" His voice seemed to have dropped an octave lower, and his body began a steady grind against hers.

"Yes." Her voice was breathy, and she pressed her ass back into him again in time with his gentle thrusts. His eyes captivated her, they seemed to be burning holes in her defences, and she was powerless to look away. She tried to move his hand to her panties that were becoming soaked in her arousal, but he relented, moving his body away from hers and letting go of her hands. She let out a moan of disapproval from the sudden loss of his body heat, but his hands were soon on her again, guiding her backwards to the bed. 

He sat her down on the edge, and kneeled between her parted legs. He could smell her arousal, and it made the space in his jeans tighter, but he knew he still had work to do. He urged her to sit back a little bit, and she did, her breath coming out in little pants through her parted lips, as she watched him watching her. He took a foot that was trying to rest on the floor in his hands and began to massage its sole, pushing his thumb from the heel towards her neatly polished toes. He brought it up to his lips and kissed the soft skin of her arch, his hands moving up her ankle towards her calf. His fingers were pressing into her flesh with a delightful amount of pressure, working away at the knots that had formed there after a long days worth of shooting. He gently placed her leg down on the bed, knee bent, before picking up the other and giving it the same treatment. 

"Your legs are so nice. They've always been so soft and strong." His thumbs worked at a particularly stiff muscle on her right calf. "I know you've always wished they were longer, but I love them. I love your height. It means I can come up behind you and rest my chin on your head. It means when we hug your head fits perfectly into my chest. And when we cuddle you make the best little spoon." The corners of her mouth tugged upwards into a small smile but it didn't last long as her brain was still trying to comprehend exactly what he was doing to her. He hadn't taken his eyes off hers since he sat her down. "Why would I wanna change your legs when they're already perfect?" 

With that he leant forward and put his lips to the soft underside of her knee. She jerked slightly, but held his gaze, as he kissed and licked his way down her calf, before moving back up. He stopped at her right knee again, his fingers still massaging as his lips left a blazing trail of wet kisses over her leg. He touched his tongue to the skin there and dragged it up slightly onto her thigh. Gillian sucked in a breath as he continued his agonisingly slow journey, kissing and nipping lightly at her inner thighs. When his mouth reached the edge of her panties, his tongue reached out to trace it, and her hands sank into his soft hair. He was still watching her as he bypassed her wet panties and moved straight to her other leg, moving his lips down it towards her knee again. He spent some time there, lapping at her sensitive skin before she groaned in frustration and pulled at his hair, pleading with him to move back up. He laughed slightly and let her hand guide his head where she needed him most. He hovered just above the juncture at her thighs and she could feel his breath against her clothed centre.

"This," he said, fingering the wet edges of her panties, "is one of my favourite bits about you." She rested herself back on her elbows so she could have a better view of his sweet torture. His fingers continued to tickle the skin of her inner thighs and she nearly closed her eyes at the sensation, but the feel of his tongue running against the front of her panties made them snap wide open again. Her moan was loud, and it made him smile at the effect he had on her. His fingers moved themselves to the top of her panties, and hooked under them, dragging them down her parted legs. He could visibly see how wet she was for him already, she was practically shimmering, and he inhaled her heady scent of arousal. Placing his arms under her bent legs, he curved them over her thighs, lightly tickling her soft, damp curls as he did so. He broke their eye contact and drifted his gaze down to her centre. Staring intently at her, she began to squirm under his silent scrutiny, until he let out a small sigh. "Just so damn beautiful." It was a whisper, almost as if it was for his ears only. Her hand gave his hair a gentle tug and his eyes met hers as she gave him a warm smile. He gave her one back, teeth and all, before giving her mons his full attention. 

His lips attached themselves around her small bud of nerves and he sucked gently, revelling in her loud moans, and the way her hand tightened in his hair. He pulled back a little and breathed hard on her folds. "You always smell so good. You're definitely my favourite smell. When I slip into you, it's almost as if the world stops, and I'm home. I feel so right when I'm inside you Gillian. Don't you think? You're always so snug and warm and wet. And it gets me so hard thinking that you can get that wet, and it's all for me. You're all mine, aren't you Gillian?" His eyes raked up her body before landing on hers, and she gave a small nod. She wasn't one for possessive tones but the idea of being his turned her on beyond her belief. She wasn't sure she was able to reply to him using words, her ability to use coherent speech left her as his tongue touched her bare centre a second time, probing her. His fingers managed to reach over to her folds and hold them gently open for his exploring tongue, even though they were wrapped around her shaking thighs. She threw her head back and let out a shuddering sigh as his tongue delved into her depths and then back out again, occasionally coming up to twirl around her clit.

"Hng, David." Her moans were becoming louder and he knew she wouldn't be far from her release if he kept doing the right things. "Oh god, fuck." He secretly loved it when she used profanity during sex, it reminded him of when they were younger, constantly in and out of each other's bed. He looked at her now and realised so much had changed. It wasn't just sex to them anymore. They were in love, and it made it all so much better. His tongue moved out of her and flicked against her clit, making her cry out, her hand threatening to pull some of his hair out. He read her messages loud and clear, burying his nose into her brown curls, his lips wrapping themselves around her sensitive nub and sucking hard. "Oh fuck! David! Don't stop that! Oh god. I'm going to come. Oh fuck." He kept the pressure on her clit hard as her hips started undulating against his head. He saw her eyes move to his and he held her gaze as he bit down on her clit. The scream that ripped from her body surprised both of them as she came against him, her muscles clenching around his mouth. He could feel her wetness seeping against him and he continued to lap at her, waiting for her to drift back to consciousness. He looked over at her, her eyes were half closed as her chest rose and fell dramatically with her breaths. Her face was flushed and her hair was tousled and she had never looked so beautiful to him. 

Wiping his chin on his shirt, he pulled it up and off his body, regretfully leaving the comfort of her legs to undo his belt and drag his jeans and boxers off his legs, toeing off his boots and socks as he did so. He joined her on the bed again, hovering above her, kissing her flat stomach, and her soft breasts. He heard her breath hitch as he took a nipple into his mouth and wondered if he was too soon, but her hand found its way to the nape of his neck where she scratched the clipped hair there. He moved his head up further so it was above her own and smiled.

"Hey." He dragged a thumb under her bottom lip as she pulled his head closer to hers, nudging his lips apart with her own.

"Hey." Her voice was soft and her lips were softer and he found himself getting lost in her all over again, their tongues sliding over each other as they danced inside their mouths. They eventually broke for air, their foreheads pressed together. Her hands cradled his cheeks before wrapping themselves around his neck. He settled further into the v of her legs, still supporting most of his weight on his elbows either side of her head. 

"You have the most beautiful lips." She laughed with him as his eyes drifted to her pouty wet lips, bruised by their earlier kiss.

"You're still gonna do this huh?" Her hands came back into his hair as she pulled him down for another quick kiss. 

"Oh yes." He said in between kisses. "I'm intent on showing you all the bits I love about you. All the parts that make you beautiful." He kissed her again then, and he could feel her smile against them, so he lightly licked her teeth with his tongue. He could feel his erection waning slightly at the lack of contact between it and her skin, but he didn't worry. "Now where was I? Ah yes! Those beautiful lips of yours." He kissed them again for emphasis. "They're so full and so naturally red. Do you know how hard it was for me to work next to you for so long and not just kiss you? Sometimes I watch some of the old episodes and I noticed how much I keep staring at your lips. That isn't Mulder y'know... that's just me. I love to kiss your lips. I love feeling your lips anywhere on me." The thought of her plump little lips wrapped around his cock made his erection twitch back to life. "And I love your smile more than that. I love making you smile. When I first met you I found myself cracking more jokes than usual, just to make you smile." She smiled back at his remarks and he kissed it rapidly, making her giggle. "And that laugh! So contagious!" He kissed her again. "So beautiful." She was staring at him now, her face alight with smiles and he brushed his bigger nose against her smaller one.

"And your nose is really graceful too. It's so slender, and it suits you perfectly. I especially love it when you've been out in the sun and you get all these little freckles dusted along it." He kissed where her freckles would be, eliciting more giggles. "In fact, you sort of get them everywhere." His lips began to kiss a path up the bridge of her nose to her forehead, and down her cheeks to her jaw, up to her mouth again, all the while with Gillian's laugh encouraging him. "And then there's this." He gave the beauty mark above her lip a quick kiss. "The mole."

"Beauty mark", she managed to correct him through her giggles.

"Right. Beauty mark. It's not a mole because there's no hair growing out it, right?" She nodded at him furiously and laughed. "I'd still love it even if it was a mole. I love every part of you." 

"You're silly." Her voice was still light and raspy from her earlier orgasm.

"You make me silly."

Her hands began raking down his back, and his body responded by pressing his erection into her thigh. She gasped a little underneath him and moved her body so he was pressing against her centre. She lifted her hips a little, inviting him to rub himself against her, and he did so gladly, biting his lip as they started a soft grind. Her hands moved back to his chest and she dragged them down the sparse hair there, down to his groin where she took him in her hand and began to stroke him. He began to thrust into her hand as it curved around his cock, and he could feel her thumb lightly drag over his head, spreading his salty discharge over his length, making him hiss through his teeth. Guiding him to her entrance, she gave him one last kiss before tipping her hips slightly and using her hand to push him back into her. He sighed at the contact, being inside her was just as he remembered, just as magnificent. He let her accommodate to his size, it had been a month, and began to slowly stroked in and out of her, his lips finding her neck and sucking. She moaned deep and let out a loud "Ah, fuck David. Yes.".

His eyes snapped open and he moved his head above hers. "I forgot something." His body was still sliding in and out of hers at a leisurely pace, although he could tell she was tightening her walls for him, signalling for him to go faster. "Your eyes. They're my favourite bit about your face." He looked down at them and she reluctantly dragged her eyes from where he was entering her to meet his gaze. "They're so blue. They're the windows to your soul Gillian." He began pumping into her a little harder, and her legs came up around his back, letting him penetrate her deeper. "They've captivated millions Gilly. They're the only thing that keeps me grounded." His speech became broken as he tried to spill the words out between pants. "I could look into your eyes all day. I could-"

"David?" Her voice was breathy too, and her lips were dangerously close to his as her body rocked with him as he thrust into her. "Ah, fuck. Yes there. Don't stop that."

"Uh-yes?" He tried to concentrate on hitting that spot inside of her repeatedly but he wanted to look into her eyes still, he was pouring out his heart to her at the end of the day.

"Shut up." She ended it with a smile, which turned into a open mouth moan as David pulled her legs up higher and pushed in even deeper. She clenched her muscles every time he began to pull out and it was making beads of sweat form on his brow and he struggled to keep it under control.

"Okay." He whispered through clenched teeth. His rhythm was becoming less finesse as he strove to find his release, her tightening walls helping him find his way. His hand sneaked down her chest and pinched a nipple roughly before continuing its southward journey and flicked against her engorged clit. She whispered a few expletives and he did it again and again, timing it perfectly with his thrusts, adding more and more pressure every time. It took a hard pinch of her clit for her muscles to start milking his release, her head buried in his neck as she muffled her second orgasm. He continued thrusting into her but only until his body was spent. He lay inside her for a short while, not wanting to move but not wanting to crush her either. Her hands drew lazy patterns on his back so he assumed she wasn't uncomfortable. Finally, rolling out of her, he missed her warmth immediately and gathered her up into his arms, kissing her temple a few times. She was just closing her eyes, waiting for the heavy pull of sleep to take her when he spoke again.

"I didn't get to tell you my favourite part of you." He voice was quiet, almost childlike, as he spoke into her hair, his fingers drifting up and down her sides.

"Hm? And what part is that?" She moved a little away from him so she could study his face, and looked into his hazel eyes. One day she'd return the favour to him. She'd tell him how much she loved his nose even though he swore he hated it. How much she loved his big hands and how her fingers fit in between his like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

His head moved over her body and he kissed over her left breast.

"You told me you liked those already. I know you love my boobs." He shook his head against her warm skin and planted a few more kisses in the same spot as earlier.

"As much as I love your boobs, especially this one." His finger brushed along the underside of it, making her giggle. "They're not my favourite part of you." Another soft kiss to the spot he'd found before, and she was still trying to work out the significance of that one patch of skin. "It's your heart I love the most Gillian. It's your heart I fell in love with all those years ago, not your body, and I'm still in love with that same heart now.

"We've changed over the years and we've grown, matured, but your heart is still the same. It's still good and kind. I'm sorry that all those years ago I couldn't appreciate that. I took you for granted, and... I hurt you." His voice broke a little, and Gillian took the respite to swipe away at the tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm just so glad that after everything I did to you back then, you're giving me another chance now." Her fingers moved through his hair, down to his cheeks, and she rubbed them lightly. She grasped his chin and moved his head to be level with hers. Taking his pouty bottom lip between her lips, she kissed him as if there were no tomorrow. She smiled sweetly over at him. He had changed. They'd both become stronger, and they were even stronger together.

"I love you David."

"I love you Gillian."

She kissed him again, a goodnight kiss, before settling back against his chest, his arms coming around her form once more in a protective embrace. "Oh and Gillian?" She hummed in response, her eyes still closed in slumber. "Even when you're old and grey and wrinkly like me, I'll still love you. You'll always be beautiful to me."

She took his hand in hers and pressed the palm to her lips before moving it down gently to rest above her heartbeat. "Take that Daily Mail," she chuckled lightly before letting the steady sound of David's breaths lull her into a deep, well earned sleep.


End file.
